Memories made me cry, made me smile...
I remembered when I first saw you in that group photo that Gor sent to me, I told him straight that I want to know this guy, I want make friend with him and thats you. And that time you gave a positive sign that you wants to, so we started off chatting over msn and not long, I find myself fallen in love with you and as a secondary two girl that time, I could do nothing but to admire you from far. But as days goes by, our relationship got closed, we started to sms each other, chat on the phone every night, talking about of our life & stuffs until one of got tired and hanged off.And soon, it like become a part of daily routine for me and all these littlest things were tremendous happiness to me. Soon, one year have passed, and I was secondary three then. Our relationship starts to grow to more than a friend, we disturbed each other, we make up promises, we sweared to work hard, we each set up a goal, & manys. & not forgetting each time when I'm upset how you cheer me up etc.. those days, were really sweet. However things changes when I reached secondary 4 and it was then you was in the first year of Ite life. Our relationship began to strain off because I got to know many friends than ever, soon I got into a relationship with another guy and get left hurt because of him. But somehow it your presence everyday that made me get over that relationship and made me stronger. & few mnths passed after that incident, I couldn't help myself to fall in love with you again because of the many things you have done and it when also I found out that you did have some feelings for me through your friends. Then on one particular night, I tooked out my courage to ask you that question and for that question, we talked for hours about it and that night, both of us couldn't get into sleep and we stayed up late chatting on phone happily. But not long, I found out I was in a confusion between you & Y and I knew that you knew about it from the posts I blogged about Y. & for some days, because you does not want me to stuck in confusion, you decided to avoid me and those days when you were not there, the days go slowly by and I feel empty of your lost presence. and I tooked those days to sort out that confusion and at last, I realised it you that I want, it you that I love all while, it you that the one who can make a complete me. & for one night, you actually went all the way down to my house all because you wanted to prove me something. I feel glad, really glad about your doings though I find it abit silly too. Eversince that night, our relationship so called become a boyfriend and girlfriend and everything I wrote on the blog is because of you, everyday I live because of you and its all about you. & everyday I feel the most happiness girl ever because of the adorations & pamperations. And so one night though its late already, we still met up, I lied to my mum with some excuses and went down Ecp together.& through the journey, we both feel great embrassment because it's the first time we met up after since we confessed each other, it silly I know. That night, we sat down & spent the time mesmerising the beauty of the stars above us, walked for the first night stroll and you popped out that question so sudden that I got no reason to reject but to accept it, you hold onto my hands tight and sang me the song you used to sing it on the phone and I really wished that moment would pause for both of us.& we waited for the dawn break, get to the nearest coffeeshop because you told me you're hungry and you get Prata for breakfast and we tooked the first train back home. This was I thought the love was in the air for me, because I have a loving boyfriend who fetch me up from school, accompany me for shoppings, a shoulder to lean on when I'm upset & manys. But sweetest time did last for first two months, when things starts to changes.. we can quarrell over big & small issues, cold war for days, arguments made revealed each other bad faults and the word 'Breakup' always came our from our lips and we both have the clear mind that one day we will separate if things carry on this way. Indeed the day came after 4 months plus being together, though you tried to mend it at start, but I sensed that you wasn't truely wanted to and after probing, you told me the truth and the most cruel truth that left me with so much pains that until now I still feel the pain. Everything between us for the 3 years ended overnight and funny is that you can forget and leave behind everything and carry on without feeling any sadness. & the most hurting thing was the way how you treated me after since we break. Now it have been 123 days since you left me, and still I'll be counting...