In life, I'm a failure.
At home, I failed to be a good daughter. I showed disrespect towards parents and sister. Never learn how to treasure them, never appreciate what they did but just expressing dissatisfaction to them. I never understand how much they love me & dotes me in past and now. In fact they are the nice ones towards me. But I just failed being their daughter.
In school, I failed to be a friend to everyone. Since that day, I am clear enough that I will be alone facing everything myself and yes, we won't be that close anymore. Even there times I comforted myself but still there emptiness lingering around in my heart, and this emptiness never fill up. There aren't any true friends I can confide to and everyone is just an passingby figures walking in nd out of my life. Who will ever stop and ask how are you feeling today or even bother about you? Does true friend really exist for me or? I couldn't answer this question. I walked off with that heavy feeling of mine, mind whirling with thoughts, tears in my eyes. No one knows it feels, no one stop and ask, no one called for you but seeing you walked away and talk among themselves. No one know that I put away my pride everyday pretending friendly to those whom I dislike and talked to them because this is then I could be friends with them. It hurts hearing people saying I am whatsoever. Seeing friends having fun among themselves and how much I yearn to join yet, I know I am still one being extra and it wasn't like past anymore because I am not part of them anymore.
For relationship, I failed to be good girlfriend. Who never cares about how you feel those time but showing you attitude and often throw tantrum to you and for big or small matters, I will jump into conclusion and pick fight with you and even sometimes scold abusive language at you and never imagine how would you feel. And when I cared about you, I just can't use the correct way of expressing my concern for you ended up with many misunderstandings that made you uncomfortable. And I know all these were my faults and when I wanted to change, there no chance for me to do so anymore because we finish off that relationships with all these problem.But once you are a good bf to me.
There many things that makes me feel useless, restless, hopeless..